5 Things Confident Girls Don’t Do

What can be as exciting as watching a child do what you want?  Many would say that it is watching them NOT do what you DON’T want!

Is there a key to success that makes girls resilient to life's pressures and dangers? I think there is, and the answer is Self-Confidence. Find out more at www.thebecomingeffect.org

If the endless temptations facing our girls is keeping you up at night, you are in good company. As hard as we try, it is so easy to be taken down by a series of endless fears. We long for some reassurance that what we do want to happen will, and what we don’t want to happen won’t!

  • If only we could protect them from bullying, peer pressure, mean girls, drugs, alcohol, and other risky and dangerous situations.
  • If only we had answers… assurances that could calm our fears, and give us a sense of peace as we watch them transition from young girl to young women.
  • If only we had something to give them that could keep them safe.

So is there a magic bullet? Is there a key to success that makes girls resilient to these pressures and dangers?

I think there is, and the answer is Self-Confidence.

According to a study conducted by the American Association of University Women, and published in the New York Times, “at the age of 9 a majority of girls were confident, assertive and felt positive about themselves. But by the time they reached high school fewer than a third felt that way”.[1]

Perhaps this is part of the reason we have so much bullying, underage drinking, anorexia, bulimia, suicide, unhealthy relationships, and other social problems.

Why should we pay so much attention to this?

Because when a girl has confidence:


  1. She doesn’t look to others for her self-worth.
    1. She is strong in her own identity. She has the validation that really matters to her (from her faith, her family, and her community). She knows where she belongs and she feels safe and secure there. Bullying doesn’t destroy her, because other’s opinions do not control her sense of self-worth.
  2. She doesn’t try to make others happy at the expense of her own morals and standards.
    1. She cares about others, but She isn’t about to sacrifice her beliefs to please someone else.
  3. She doesn’t need to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, and sexual activity.
    1. She doesn’t have holes in her life that she is trying to fill with chemical substances or love in the wrong places. She doesn’t require an escape, and she aren’t affected by peer pressure that tries to tell her differently.
  4. She doesn’t feel insecure in her body.
    1. She embraces herself the way that she is. She isn’t affected by eating disorders, body distortion, or obsessive behaviors, because she appreciates her body and has learned to love herself.
  5. She doesn’t let anything stand in the way of her future.
    1. She wants to succeed in life, and she demolishes the road blocks to that success. She knows who she is and she knows where she is going. She excels in her strengths and works hard to conquer her weaknesses.

Easy action steps:

  • Encourage her to establish a strong identity. Help her discover who she is and where she belongs.
  • Teach her the line between people pleasing and standing up for herself.
  • Help her examine her life for voids, then fill them with positive things BEFORE she looks to drugs, alcohol, sexual activity, or other negative outlets.
  • Teach her about her body…how it works, why each part is important, and how she can best take care of it.
  • Praise her for the things she doesn’t do instead of just the things she does do!

Take a deep breath, give her a hug, and tell her once again how much she means to you, and to the world. God has a specific purpose for her unique set of talents, skills, and gifts. If that isn’t an instant confidence builder, I don’t know what is!


P.S.   Get your free copy of “Defined by God Alone – A Dozen Ways to Raise Her Self Esteem” by clicking HERE!



  1. http://history.aauw.org/aauw-research/1991-shortchanging-girls





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