I have been spending the last few weeks digging deep into this concept of self-esteem, self-worth, and identity. Most of us are taught from a young age to “be ourselves”, that “Jesus loves us”, and that we can “be anything we want to be”. However, no matter what age we are, as women we seem to have a great deal of trouble soaking this in and allowing it to permeate our very beings.
The urge to constantly compare ourselves with others is so strong and the feelings of inadequacy can be incredibly intense when we see ourselves as lacking. In our eyes there is always someone prettier, thinner, taller, shorter, smarter, more popular, and the list goes on. These feelings that begin in girlhood often linger well beyond, robbing us of our happiness, security, and joy.
There are undoubtedly many reasons for this, ranging from the seemingly perfect lives of others as portrayed on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media outlets to the grass is always greener mentality when we look at someone who seems to have it all.
Why do we do this to ourselves? When will we ever just be “enough”?
As we work through these issues as adult women, it is extremely important that we start these conversations early with our girls.
More confident girls:
- Will be less likely to bully others or be bullied themselves
- Will be able to resist peer pressure that will jeopardize their safety and their future
- Will recognize the lines between pleasing others and staying true to their character
- Will be less succestible to eating disorders, anxiety, and depression
- Will be less moody and discontent
- Will be their own advocates when it comes to their bodies and their health
- Will take responsibility for themselves socially, emotionally, and physically
- Will experience far less road blocks in their journey to become who God meant for them to be
The big question now is how to accomplish this goal. In truth, I think it is bigger than us. I think that the key to true confidence lies in acknowledging and embracing the perfect love that God has for each of us, and the strength of our identity in Him.
When we let God define us, we are less likely to listen to the negative influences.
You’re not defined by your feelings. You’re not defined by the opinions of others or by your circumstances. You’re not defined by your successes or failures. You’re not defined by the car you drive, the money you make, or the house you say you own when the bank really does. You are defined by God and God alone. He identifies you as his own (2 Corinthians 1:22). – Pastor Rick Warren
We have been given a great gift, and a great opportunity to share it with the girls in our lives. Let them know that they are pretty enough, smart enough, capable enough, and loved enough… because God said so!
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